Recently I was just looking through my gmail (which I hadn't in a long time) and found something really interesting and meaningful which my sister had sent to me. This might be a really dead blog but well, just in case I forget about the article I can always refer to it here!
Life and How to Survive It
I must say thank you to the faculty and staff of the Wee Kim Wee School of Communication and Information for inviting me to give your convocation address. It's a wonderful honour and a privilege for me to speak here for ten minutes without fear of contradiction, defamation or retaliation. I say this as a Singaporean and more so as a husband.
My wife is a wonderful person and perfect in every way except one. She is the editor of a magazine. She corrects people for a living. She has honed her expert skills over a quarter of a century, mostly by practising at home during conversations between her and me.
On the other hand, I am a litigator. Essentially, I spend my day telling people how wrong they are. I make my living being disagreeable.
Nevertheless, there is perfect harmony in our matrimonial home. That is because when an editor and a litigator have an argument, the one who triumphs is always the wife.
And so I want to start by giving one piece of advice to the men: when you've already won her heart, you don't need to win every argument.
Marriage is considered one milestone of life. Some of you may already be married. Some of you may never be married. Some of you will be married. Some of you will enjoy the experience so much, you will be married many, many times. Good for you.
The next big milestone in your life is today: your graduation. The end of education. You're done learning.
You've probably been told the big lie that "Learning is a lifelong process" and that therefore you will continue studying and taking masters' degrees and doctorates and professorships and so on. You know the sort of people who tell you that? Teachers. Don't you think there is some measure of conflict of interest? They are in the business of learning, after all. Where would they be without you? They need you to be repeat customers.
The good news is that they're wrong.
The bad news is that you don't need further education because your entire life is over. It is gone. That may come as a shock to some of you. You're in your teens or early twenties. People may tell you that you will live to be 70, 80, 90 years old. That is your life expectancy.
I love that term: life expectancy. We all understand the term to mean the average life span of a group of people. But I'm here to talk about a bigger idea, which is what you expect from your life.
You may be very happy to know that Singapore is currently ranked as the country with the third highest life expectancy. We are behind Andorra and Japan, and tied with San Marino. It seems quite clear why people in those countries, and ours, live so long. We share one thing in common: our football teams are all hopeless. There's very little danger of any of our citizens having their pulses raised by watching us play in the World Cup. Spectators are more likely to be lulled into a gentle and restful nap.
Singaporeans have a life expectancy of 81.8 years. Singapore men live to an average of 79.21 years, while Singapore women live more than five years longer, probably to take into account the additional time they need to spend in the bathroom.
So here you are, in your twenties, thinking that you'll have another 40 years to go. Four decades in which to live long and prosper.
Bad news. Read the papers. There are people dropping dead when they're 50, 40, 30 years old. Or quite possibly just after finishing their convocation. They would be very disappointed that they didn't meet their life expectancy.
I'm here to tell you this. Forget about your life expectancy.
After all, it's calculated based on an average. And you never, ever want to expect being average.
Revisit those expectations. You might be looking forward to working, falling in love, marrying, raising a family. You are told that, as graduates, you should expect to find a job paying so much, where your hours are so much, where your responsibilities are so much.
That is what is expected of you. And if you live up to it, it will be an awful waste.
If you expect that, you will be limiting yourself. You will be living your life according to boundaries set by average people. I have nothing against average people. But no one should aspire to be them. And you don't need years of education by the best minds in Singapore to prepare you to be average.
What you should prepare for is mess. Life's a mess. You are not entitled to expect anything from it. Life is not fair. Everything does not balance out in the end. Life happens, and you have no control over it. Good and bad things happen to you day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment. Your degree is a poor armour against fate.
Don't expect anything. Erase all life expectancies. Just live. Your life is over as of today. At this point in time, you have grown as tall as you will ever be, you are physically the fittest you will ever be in your entire life and you are probably looking the best that you will ever look. This is as good as it gets. It is all downhill from here. Or up. No one knows.
What does this mean for you? It is good that your life is over.
Since your life is over, you are free. Let me tell you the many wonderful things that you can do when you are free.
The most important is this: do not work.
Work is anything that you are compelled to do. By its very nature, it is undesirable.
Work kills. The Japanese have a term "Karoshi", which means death from overwork. That's the most dramatic form of how work can kill. But it can also kill you in more subtle ways. If you work, then day by day, bit by bit, your soul is chipped away, disintegrating until there's nothing left. A rock has been ground into sand and dust.
There's a common misconception that work is necessary. You will meet people working at miserable jobs. They tell you they are "making a living". No, they're not. They're dying, frittering away their fast-extinguishing lives doing things which are, at best, meaningless and, at worst, harmful.
People will tell you that work ennobles you, that work lends you a certain dignity. Work makes you free. The slogan "Arbeit macht frei" was placed at the entrances to a number of Nazi concentration camps. Utter nonsense.
Do not waste the vast majority of your life doing something you hate so that you can spend the small remainder sliver of your life in modest comfort. You may never reach that end anyway.
Resist the temptation to get a job. Instead, play. Find something you enjoy doing. Do it. Over and over again. You will become good at it for two reasons: you like it, and you do it often. Soon, that will have value in itself.
I like arguing, and I love language. So, I became a litigator. I enjoy it and I would do it for free. If I didn't do that, I would've been in some other type of work that still involved writing fiction – probably a sports journalist.
So what should you do? You will find your own niche. I don't imagine you will need to look very hard. By this time in your life, you will have a very good idea of what you will want to do. In fact, I'll go further and say the ideal situation would be that you will not be able to stop yourself pursuing your passions. By this time you should know what your obsessions are. If you enjoy showing off your knowledge and feeling superior, you might become a teacher.
Find that pursuit that will energise you, consume you, become an obsession. Each day, you must rise with a restless enthusiasm. If you don't, you are working.
Most of you will end up in activities which involve communication. To those of you I have a second message: be wary of the truth. I'm not asking you to speak it, or write it, for there are times when it is dangerous or impossible to do those things. The truth has a great capacity to offend and injure, and you will find that the closer you are to someone, the more care you must take to disguise or even conceal the truth. Often, there is great virtue in being evasive, or equivocating. There is also great skill. Any child can blurt out the truth, without thought to the consequences. It takes great maturity to appreciate the value of silence.
In order to be wary of the truth, you must first know it. That requires great frankness to yourself. Never fool the person in the mirror.
I have told you that your life is over, that you should not work, and that you should avoid telling the truthr. I now say this to you: be hated.
It's not as easy as it sounds. Do you know anyone who hates you? Yet every great figure who has contributed to the human race has been hated, not just by one person, but often by a great many. That hatred is so strong it has caused those great figures to be shunned, abused, murdered and in one famous instance, nailed to a cross.
One does not have to be evil to be hated. In fact, it's often the case that one is hated precisely because one is trying to do right by one's own convictions. It is far too easy to be liked, one merely has to be accommodating and hold no strong convictions. Then one will gravitate towards the centre and settle into the average. That cannot be your role. There are a great many bad people in the world, and if you are not offending them, you must be bad yourself. Popularity is a sure sign that you are doing something wrong.
The other side of the coin is this: fall in love.
I didn't say "be loved". That requires too much compromise. If one changes one's looks, personality and values, one can be loved by anyone.
Rather, I exhort you to love another human being. It may seem odd for me to tell you this. You may expect it to happen naturally, without deliberation. That is false. Modern society is anti-love. We've taken a microscope to everyone to bring out their flaws and shortcomings. It far easier to find a reason not to love someone, than otherwise. Rejection requires only one reason. Love requires complete acceptance. It is hard work – the only kind of work that I find palatable.
Loving someone has great benefits. There is admiration, learning, attraction and something which, for the want of a better word, we call happiness. In loving someone, we become inspired to better ourselves in every way. We learn the truth worthlessness of material things. We celebrate being human. Loving is good for the soul.
Loving someone is therefore very important, and it is also important to choose the right person. Despite popular culture, love doesn't happen by chance, at first sight, across a crowded dance floor. It grows slowly, sinking roots first before branching and blossoming. It is not a silly weed, but a mighty tree that weathers every storm.
You will find, that when you have someone to love, that the face is less important than the brain, and the body is less important than the heart.
You will also find that it is no great tragedy if your love is not reciprocated. You are not doing it to be loved back. Its value is to inspire you.
Finally, you will find that there is no half-measure when it comes to loving someone. You either don't, or you do with every cell in your body, completely and utterly, without reservation or apology. It consumes you, and you are reborn, all the better for it.
Don't work. Avoid telling the truth. Be hated. Love someone.
You're going to have a busy life. Thank goodness there's no life expectancy.
By Adrian Tan
Hope you guys found it meaningful too!
Hah! I'm back after a long hiatus! Well, the main reason why I'm posting right now is that I'm super relived that I have just survived 2 5 days 4 nights camps, one being OBS and the other being the super xiong NPC ( National Patrol Camp). Wasn't really too simple surviving both of them- there were times where I felt really desparate for the camps to end- but I'm gald I went for both camps.
First, I was in OBS group 1, and I really did not expect it to be as fun as it turned out to be, cause most of my closer friends were in group 2, but hell, it sure was fun! All the trekking, kayaking and rock climbing really bonded people together. One word which would describe anyone who survived OBS was perseverence, cause if one was not determined, he or she would be the first to drop their bags and refuse to do anything. I was really gald that none of us in the watch gave up or anything, cause that would simply mean that the others in the watch had more to do! Well, I am not going to talk about OBS in detail as it has been a really long time since I went for it.
Now for NPC, I was not really looking forward to this camp, cause I had the tiring OBS before it, and I was not sure whether we were going there to compete or to disgrace ourselves. Let me talk a little about our team first. We basically had 4 year 1s, 1 year 2, 2 year 3s and 1 year 4, so it was a pretty inexperienced team. We did as much as we could to train the year 1s in all the knots etc, but there was only so much that we could train them. Some were also not really willing to go for the camp and kept complaining, which brought morale to dangerously low levels at times. But still, the training really helped, and together with all the support from other scouts and our scout leaders in training and logistics, we made it through the NPC.
For one, I did not expect our campsite to be as good as it turned out to be. It was cozy and had all that we needed, including a basin so we need not head to the toilet just to wash our hands before dinner etc. Our structures were all quite stable and above my expectations. Our kitchen shed helped shelter us from rain or shine. One stupid thing was that we did not know that the tap water was drinkable, so we kept boiling water to drink. Our camp cook was Zhang Yao, who helped us notch the best camp cook in the whole camp!
Our pioneering structure was the one I was the most worried about. In comparison to others, it was kinda small and not really complicated. Initially it was just a frame to hold up a game board, but through some improvision we managed to make the structure look nicer, but still it was not really good. If anything would cause us to lose some awards, it would be this.
So came the campfire which we would know how well we fared for the camp. We watched all the skits from the different schools and those particularly memorable were from Catholic High(Scout man!) and ACSI (Poem/Rap). After all the skits and songs, it was time for the award presentation. Through all the hard work of the scouts and scout leaders as well as the kind weather (it did not really rain) we achieved what we set out for- a sliver award! We were already delirous about getting a sliver award, but as if to add the icing on top of the cake(a really huge icing), we got the best newcomer patrol for the camp! Say hi to a brand new Wenger Swiss Army Knife!
This has certainly been a meaningful few weeks for me. Although I was totally worn out (slept from 11 plus at night to 3 in the afternoon), I'm really gald I've been through the highs and lows of each camp. Those few days would certainly hold a special place in my heart for I have really learnt alot! Thanks to all those who have gone to the camps with me and made them memorable!
Hi all, i shall revive my blog for a short quiz, cause I just had to find out what the quiz questions were... Curiosity really killed the cat.
1) No idea man.. Maybe Kay Wee?
2)Jaryl hahaha since P4
3)My dog.. Joking la, I like the way I'm now.
4)My dog is very concerned about other's welfare.(We treat her so well)
5)Terry hahaha especially in class, but not as much now
6)Stuart haha
7)were? I bet it must be Xavier, you know which one I'm talking about
8)Shirong
9) Myself
10) My maid, she just loves babies
11)Everyone writes this: Mona
12)Jesscia Alba (she popped into my mind cause Terry didn't know who she was)
13)Coach Krishor hahahaha
14)Terry, sibei manly. Joking la, Russell is the best.
15)Stuart hahahaha, you never know it might be one of his weird fantasies
16)Stuart is so mature that he has all these fantasies
17)Timothy la hahaha
18)No idea
19)Tat Wai
20)Kyle
21)Ahmed, I still remember the snail
22)No idea
23)Mr Ho hahhaha
24)From what I've seen happening to others, Andre
25)HA!
26)HA!
27)My dog is pretty loyal to my family.
28)Nah, avoid it!
29) O.o
30) I have never liked doing quizes, and it doesn't look like I'm gonna change anytime soon!
Eh hi all again. I think I might have been conned, conned by the most crafty person I have ever met in blogging again today.... :O hahahaha. Aiya it was debra to whom I made a promise to mention in a blog post if I ever did blog, and I made a serious mistake yesterday by blogging again! Ah nevermind, well she asked me to mention something positive about her, and I know I'm kinda defeating the purpose by mentioning that she asked me to do that, but well, :D. Overall, debra is kinda of a nice girl la, nice to talk to her about stupid stuff and bitch about some stupid stuff too. Well she used to be the one I always asked about homework but now since we're different class now I cant do that anymore. I remember there was once me and chong were like doing jobweek in her estate and we wanted to rest a little while and wait for the rain to stop. Well, we then smsed her and she didn't want to let us in at first. Well after that she was nice enough to let us go in then somemore give us some food and drinks. Her maid cooked some noodles for us and I must say that I'm thankful. Well we left after that and a while more we needed to use a toilet.. so guess what, it was damn awkward but when nature calls, you gotta do what a man's gotta do. So I guess it was really nice of her to let us in and all that stuff. A really belated thanks!
Muahahaha! I'm back! All the way from October last year :) Alamak sometimes I wonder how people can manage to update their blogs almost everyday without fail. For me its like impossible la, I write one post and then feel sian after that and stop writing. Well anyway, the past few months have been quite good. All those fun people in my class made lessons, you've guessed it, fun. Well, learnt windsurfing from around Jan to Feb and took the level one test in March. Windsurfing was really fun, but its a pity that I've little time for windsurfing. It was quite tough learning windsurfing, the backaches resulting from pulling the sail up and all that stuff, but can you imagine theres up to level 4 or 7 for windsurfing?!?! I watched some videos on youtube showing the real pros in windsurfing, and they really are AMAZING! Go watch them ;) They do gay gay gay stuff like flipping around etc etc.
Well my class has been fun from chem to physics except....( you know what la, I can't say what subjects they are!) My class ar.. can be said to be super diversed, got guai lan people :O and fun people la. The rest, is damn difficult to describe in words, like you have to experience it to know it ;)
Lol! Just a look at my dashboard tells me I hadn't updated since the 9th of September! Today and yesterday were just doing scouts activties. Well, not really just activities but actually a short weekend camp. I just have to say that peck yong and chong wei did quite a good job planning and organsising the camp! I slacked alot for the first day cause the rest of the scouts were clearing their tests. We also had cook 2 where we had to set our own fires and cook our pathetic lunch lol. Lunch consisted of: bread ( DIY), roots(potato etc), and eggs lol. And that is if you don't chao da them. I did my cooking with ronald, and we did really well! we just screwed up our sweet potatoes, but..... our bread was one of the best sia! It was like golden brown lor! the best self made bread I have ever seen ;) At night, we had some war game, very much like catching, in NUSHS. That was really fun la! We were like running around school and hiding from the catchers. I only got caught once! It was really really tiring, can help you train 2.4km sia! The next day(today) was ok too. We had some games where we had to likedunk our head inside a pail of water and try to bite off the apple, and spin 20 rounds a pole, as well as to find a sweet using your mouth in flour. Fun eh? Well, we did what scouts do best after that, learn knots lol. We had a test on knots after that, and we all passed lol. After that was footdrill which we are all rusty in. it was really horrid doing footdrill lol. home sweet home after that!
Well, the other days in this week were quite rushed too. Monday I had my english speech, which i think i should do quite ok in. Thursday everyone was chionging geog, including my group, aik ann and i slept at 2am! I'm really happy with the report, after putting so much effort into it. Friday after soccer training I had to record my english speech. Lol. I screwed it up quite badly, ms sim said I looked stressed. Of course la! Slept at 2 the night before lor! and my spects kept dropping too lol. hope ms sim dun show to other classes lol, if not.....
Anw ciao!
Yo.. long time since i posted, around one month I guess. Well, the main event that have been up are basically the christmas island trip and the campfire. I'm gonna write a little on the christmas island trip first.
The first day we set foot there, I almost got owned, lol. Cause my passport was expired in the system but had a extension stamp. I sat in the immigration office la! look like some illegal immigrant like that sia la. Somehow, that reminded me of rush hour 3 ;) After that we got to our hotel which was really clean and nice. The activities we did on the island were really interesting and we learnt alot of bio stuff. We, i.e. randy xuan hao paul lian han etc, talked alot of crap. We tried to sing songs on the bus but then the other people super unenthu one never sing with us... whats more, when they sung, they sung something like phamtom of the opera. and of course, siaw young owned them all with his... wide vocal range. Well, when we left I was kinda sad cause it had been such a nice trip in a nice little island. I reconmend you guys to go there next year, but don't ever go on your own unless you really love nature or something and want to spend your week snorkling. Cause theres nothing else other than nature there! (theres a bilabong shop though)
Ahhh now the campfire. We spent lots of time planning for this. And I was some personal assistant. Not saying that was not important, but i felt I wanted to do something else too... So I ended up being the emcce.... at first i was like... sheez... but well after all the rehearsals and work, we had quite alot of fun. Fun as it was, we stayed back really late in the night to prepare for the campfire on friday. something like 2 am and we slept in new town. Now... that ain't really nice cause i didn have a sleeping bag, it rained like siao, it was super cold, and we all slept on tables which were all shaky. What do ya expect, it was difficult to sleep so we had little difficulty in waking up at 7 plus. The actual campfire day we did much more rehearsals and the new town scout teacher added much more life into our script... and did i mention he gave us singing classes.. LOL! It was really quite weird to be rehearsing without audience cause a campfire needs audience. So you would see you weird people trying to be enthu and trying to pull air out to dance with them during the rehearsals. The actual campfire was fun and passed by quickly for all of us emcces, though i think we made a mistake once, though no one noticed. Good job guys! Cleaning up was quite fun too, cause we were like super fast and pulled down everything in about 2 hours. That day, we slept at nushs, so it was not as bad, and I could share a sleepin bag. Today, we did somemore clean up and had a debriefing, though i think that I was less than half full attention cause i was really tired. Went for the leaders debriefing, otherwise known as lucnh, to take down minutes lol. Now I'm just super tired out mentally and trying really hard to do homework, though i cant really concentrate. Well anyway, good job to all everyone that helped in this campfire in one way or another, and especially to my co-emcces Theeban, Wei Feng and Tommy!